Later Gator ;)

There is never a time you feel more helpless, than when a baby is dying in your arms or when you are  breathing in rhythm to their last breath and then finally when you watch the life leave their broken body…

I never felt more helpless, then I did last night. 

One week ago I met a beautiful baby boy who had been abandoned at a nearby hospital. He was 2 weeks old and weighed 3 lbs. He was perfect.

I had the privilege of naming this unexpected gift, his name was Micah. I promised Micah that I would I always be there for him and that he would always have a special place in my heart; and he trusted me.

A few days after he arrived at Children of The Promise, he became very ill and was unable to keep any food down. He quickly moved upstairs and began round the clock care from Carla, Sheila and myself. He was having to be fed every 2 hours by tube, which took an hour each feeding…that means he was getting fed 12 hours a day. That left very little sleep for us. Despite our best efforts, he was not getting better, but he was getting worse. Sheila was emailing back and forth with a visiting doctor who assured us that we were doing everything possible and that there was nothing more the hospital could do that we weren’t already doing. So, we continued.

It felt like every time we took a step forward, he took two steps back. Nothing was working for our little Micah. God needed to intervene.

Yesterday, was a day of prayer for strength, wisdom and clarity. Yesterday, I had to put ALL of my trust in a God more powerful than anything I could ever imagine. I had to put Mighty Micah in God’s hands and allow God’s will to unfold.

It was around 9pm when I understood Micah’s future,  when I understood that Micah would soon be dancing with Jesus. I laid Micah on my chest and felt his breaking body breathe in and out with great difficulty and watched the strength slowly leave his body.

The three of us sat around Micah last night, with a strong prayer and a joyous heart. We sat with him and prayed as he made his way to heaven.

At around 10:30pm last night, Mighty Micah passed away in my arms, surrounded by so much love. He may have only been on this earth for 1 month, but I know he made an impact on many lives.

Today, I miss you Micah. I miss your soft little head, your cute little lips, the way your little fingers would wrap around mine and most of all your uno skills. We had a lot of late nights of Uno with you :) You were such a blessing to my life and I am so happy to have known you and to have been able to show you an earthly love! I would do it all over again if I had to…the sleepless nights, the frustration, the fear…all of it!

I love you Mighty Micah!

;) Later Gator (we will joke about that once I get to heaven)

Posted in Haiti | 5 Comments

No Truer Fairy Tale.

Once upon a time in a land far away a traveler spoke of an enchanted island full of mysteries and wonder.  It was a far off land traveled by few, yet whispered about by many. These stories traveled through the wind, rolled off many tongues and soon found their way across many worlds.

There was a young explorer who was always searching for adventure, searching for answers, searching for the unknown. Her ears were always listening and her eyes were always looking for her next great discovery. These stories, of a land that was so secretive yet so magical that no one could truly explain its wonders, found her and wouldn’t let go. She knew this was her next quest. She set out to discover the mysteries this land was holding.

She arrived with determination flowing through her veins; she knew that this was her path. She stepped out onto the island and was quickly enveloped by despair. What she saw was not that of beauty and wonder but of tragedy and heartache. Any hope she had upon her arrival quickly faded by the sight that lay before her.

She began walking the street of pain and anguish and gave witness to many starving lives and knew that the only discovery she would make on this trip was that of her own foolishness. She so foolishly believed in a wondrous place that was no more than a fairytale. She had given up everything for this quest, for a chance to witness the unimaginable and there she was instantly ready to turn around and go home.

She began her defeated retreat when out of the corner of her eye she caught glimpse of  the most magnificent sparkling glow. She turned to find the creator of such vibrancy when she was met with nothing more than a small boy. She did not understand where this beauty had disappeared to. She searched up and down the roads for the encapsulating beauty that grabbed her in such a fleeting moment. Discouraged once again she walked with her heart in knots.

There it was again, the glow, it was right in front of her. Stronger. Brighter. Purer. It was pulling her in…closer and closer. She was blinded by  the immense glow radiating from behind the giant wall. She felt her way to the towering blue gate, brought her fist up and pounded three times on the only thing blocking her from her destination. She so desperately longed to get through. She heard a click and saw the glow roaring through the cracks…larger and larger

Still blinded, she cautiously walked through, and in that moment everything opened up. Her eyes began adjusting and she was slowly regaining her sight. She looked around through blinking eyes and slowly realized that she had found what she was looking for. There they were, the land’s rarest jewels. Her quest was complete, she found her treasure in every one of those children standing before her. All of them, such an exquisite beauty that was impossible to describe; one could only witness for themselves to understand its power.

As she walked around in amazement at these children, she looked around and saw the adults slowing taking off their masks. Behind those masks was that same intoxicating glow that she saw in these children, the same fleeting glow she saw in the streets emanated from the little boy whom she was blinded to. She looked around and saw garments of faith swung around their shoulders and crowns of love placed upon their heads. She realized the true magic of this land was in the people. The children ran around her with their wings of joy and in that moment she realized she was standing in the middle of heaven on earth.

The stories were true and she had been a witness that day to the glory that takes place on an enchanted island called Haiti.

Posted in Haiti | 3 Comments

Giving Them a Second Chance to Impress.

 What should I blog about?!

Everyday I live in Haiti is another day that deserves a blog post. There are at least 10 things a day that I could blog about…but I don’t because I don’t have the time. It is crazy though, ever since I began blogging I experience things with judgement of whether I believe that they are blog worthy. Nothing can ever just happen…it has to either fit in the blog worthy or unworthy category.

So, I decided to give all my underdog experiences a chance at acknowledgment by blogging a bit about them. It is not like they wouldn’t get credit back home, but I live in Haiti where everything is a bit more extreme.

Here it goes…..

We currently have 60 children here, and that mean 60 birthdays we celebrate this year. 60 cakes, 60 beautiful birthday outfits and 60 special days. When we celebrate a child’s birthday, we bake and decorate them a cake, pick out our best birthday outfits, and have a party with all of their friends. Here are some of the birthdays from the last 6 months.


In the month of October we had an amazing Fall Festival. We made treats, got the kids dressed up and had a super fun sugarcane ride (instead of a hay ride). The children had such a fun time.


Every Christmas a church will volunteer and sponsor our children so that every one of them gets a christmas present. Then, the staff spends one whole night wrapping and labeling every gift. We have a tree set up with decorations and then stack all the present under it. Each child gets to come in, find their gift and open it. They are always so excited to see what they get. It is so much fun for them. If you would like to sponsor for next years just let me know :)


We have so many construction projects going on all the time, but our baby floor project was the most challenging. None of the children could go into the baby house for 2 days, which is very difficult since that is where they live. Where do you put 60 children? Well, the first time we made beds for them all outside under the pavilion but it just so happened that, that night was a night of downpour. So, we scrambled to get the children to dry locations which was a difficult task. Half of them ended up staying in the volunteer house and the other half were upstairs on our living room floor. What an adventure.


There are times when a person naturally attaches to a child. Whether it was because you took care of this child when they were sick or they just wriggled themselves into your heart. Well, I have a few of those. One of which recently went back with his mother, who absolutely adores him, and the other two will be going back to their dad this week. I know that this is what needs to happen, but the knowing doesn’t stop the missing. I love these three boys with all of my heart and I pray for them daily. For health. For strength. For Love. For survival. They made an impact like no other and they will forever and always be in my heart.

Every person turns 16 and most of us have a sweet 16. Here in Haiti it is very difficult to have the perfect birthday and to celebrate it sweet 16 status, but I was determined to make Emily Moxon’s birthday the best she had every had! I was determined to give her an amazing Sweet 16, and that is what happened. She LOVED it.


Our nannies are such a vital part of Children of The Promise’s survival. These ladies care for these children so much. They wake up with them every night and are concerned when the kids are sick. These children LOVE their nannies and their nannies LOVE them right back. It is always so amazing to see the interaction and care between them.



Water day is by far one of the best days. The kids love it. The volunteers love it. The nannies love it. It takes a lot of preparation, but it is so worth it. The kids are so fun to watch.




There were a lot of us single ladies at our Valentines Dinner this year, so we all grouped together at the end of the table while the couples took over the other table. We thought that we were not going to get Valentines but our friend John hand-made all the ladies hearts made of wood. They were so beautiful and wonderfully hand crafted. Best V-Day.


Emily Moxon and I have sleepovers every friday and we invite some of the children. We have a white board in my living room with EVERY child’s name on it and when they will be joining us for our next sleepover. We have almost gotten through every child here. Soon, we will start the list all over. On our sleepovers we have snacks, watch movies, have dance parties and then we all pass out from exhaustion.





We currently have an amazing preschool teacher named Mateja. She does so well with our children and they are learning SO much! We are all so thankful to have her here with us! The children absolutely love going to preschool and love all the activities that they get to do every day.



Emily Moxon and I LOVE taking pictures!!! We take pictures all the time. We love getting the children dressed up in beautiful clothes, cute shoes and always bows and just taking them outside for photo shoots. The children love dressing up and just running around while we follow them with a camera.



We recently got two new special needs wheelchairs in, and our kids LOVE them. We have 6 special needs boys and they all love to be wheeled around in them. They are always full of smiles. It is such a joy to see these boys so happy.


We had a finger painting with pudding day and once they realized they could eat it, then it was less about creating a picture and more about dumping the bowl on their heads and eating it. Their favorite part was when they got washed off with the hose. They had such a blast getting rinsed off.



At Children of the Promise we have a few different outpatient programs. One of which is our prenatal program. Our goal is to educate pregnant woman and to get them ready for when their babies come. We offer classes, vitamins, food etc. It is an amazing program and I just love going over there to see the moms bring their babies in to get checked up or come to get their supplies. It is hopeful.


Sometimes when we don’t have much to do and we need to keep ourselves entertained…then we make things up. Like, create scavenger hunts for Emily ;)


Last but not least, our illnesses. Since being here I have had an infected finger, an infected eye that was swollen and red, an infected nose that has spread into my lips, many infected bites and some stomach issues. To me that is getting off easy! Some people here have had it much worse! So, I just need to thank God every day that he keeps me strong and healthy!


Alright, hopefully these events feel less left out and are now just part of the blog gang. Welcome to the team here at Try to be a bit more exciting though so you don’t have to be the second strings.

Posted in Haiti | 1 Comment

In the Shadow of Death

Three days ago, I experienced a very surreal moment here in Haiti: I buried a little girl….

 I got a knock on my door at 2am Monday morning with the news that one of our little girls had passed away. I was in shock. I really didn’t know how to respond, how to feel, how to react; so I didn’t do anything. I went back to sleep.

 The next morning, she was still gone, nothing had changed; she really did leave us last night. I walked around and everything seemed to be moving in slow motion….the coffin being carried upstairs, the precious little girl right after, the family walking down after seeing her; my mind was taking in everything so slowly. I just couldn’t believe what was happening.

 I went with her to the cemetery to say my final goodbyes. I really had no idea what to expect once we got there, but what I saw was very unexpected….

 I walked into the cemetery and the entire place was overgrown with plants and grass. There were no markers on the graves to distinguish one from the other, or even to let you know if you were standing on one . I walked over numerous graves, until we finally arrived at her burial site. We laid her to rest with our prayers, and while we were praying I looked down and saw a human skull at my feet and a broken up coffin next to me; that is when I realized that we just buried this little girl in someone elses grave. At first I was in disbelief because in America, we would never do something like that. We respect the dead…..

 Buy Why?

When we pass away, we are no longer bound to our bodies. We are free! Our spirit lives on and has completely forgotten their shell down on earth. The Haitians know this. They know that this body here on earth is no longer part of them, they have a new body now, one that can never be broken….they have a life in heaven.

Being at the cemetery also made me realize how much death happens here in Haiti. It is everywhere. We lost a precious little girl this week, a man was murdered in our village this week, one of our Haitian staff lost her newborn a few weeks ago….everywhere you look, there is death. This cemetery carries all of that death, and I want God to carry this cemetery. I want the lives of the people, before they end up there, to be given to God! I want to look into the cemetery and know that every one of them is walking with Jesus right now!

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for you are with me.”

 In a country of so much death, God wants to bring life! 


 I am honored to be chosen to bring God’s infinite life to the people here in Haiti.

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Introducing, the Fox and the Mox!

Okay, so I decided to get some insight from my really good friend Emily about what goes on here in Haiti….She has been an amazing person to walk through this journey with. She may only be 15, but she teaches me daily…..Here are a few words from Em Bem.

Let me just start out by saying, this is Emily Moxon. I am a fifteen year old and I live here in Haiti with the beloved (belov-ED) Chante Rae Fox. If you have talked to Chante much, you have probably heard several stories about how amazing, yet also how difficult living here can be. Also, I didn’t know how difficult being a teenage here in Haiti could be. I don’t feel like anyone ever prepared me for this. I thought everyone said it was going to be ‘the best years of my life’ or something… In Haiti, it is SO important to have good friends because it is unbelievable lonely and crappy when you don’t understand the language or the culture, the food makes you sick, you feel like your melting from the heat, you have a thousand mosquito bites and a thousand other bugs waiting to jump out and kill you. It’s tough, guys.

Sometimes I felt like all those things were all I had here in Haiti; and a three-year old that can’t walk or talk isn’t always able to be the best of friends with a fifteen year old. Then came crazy Chante telling me how she ‘just wanted to punch the kids  in the face’ which I had never heard was something you would ever do out of love, especially to a child. Little did I know, that was just the beginning of how crazy this girl is. In my time with Chante, I have definitely done some things that I’m not totally proud to admit, but not in the way you’re thinking!

We have had so many sleepovers and each time we do something stranger and more embarrassing. Let’s see… We have sung old hymns at the top or our lungs at 1:00 A.M., we have made believe that we were both in high school in America and everyone loved to hire us because we were ‘Fox and Mox, the Babysitting Jocks,’ we have edited photos of her to try to make people believe that she dyed her hair blonde, we stay up until 2am reading the monologue to the movie, Finding Nemo. It wasn’t until we got all the way to the part with the jelly fish, that we realized that we were retarded and quickly went to bed,  we make up ridiculous songs about the babies on a daily basis: one of which is going to be the new theme song for COTP…..check out our song HERE!

Don’t tell her I said this but, she is truly an amazing person. Despite all the silliness; the courage and strength she gives me in this crazy place is honestly one of the few things that gets me through the day.

Well, I don’t know how to end this sucker, so there you go!

Posted in Friends, Fun, Life | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

My Bucket List

There are so many things that I want to do in my life so, I have decided to write out my bucket list. Here it goes…..

  • Zip-lining in Laos
  • Visit 50 countries ( I am 13 down)

  • Go Skydiving
  • Live in a different country
  • Work in an orphanage in a different country (hopefully India)
  • Travel India by train
  • Bathe in the Ganges
  • Visit the pyramids in Egypt
  • Work with children and youth
  • Get my masters
  • exercise more
  • Cross a country on a bicycle

  • Get a tattoo
  • Swim with a shark
  • Go to a carnival parade in Brazil
  • Scuba in the Great Barrier Reef

  • See the Opera House in Australia
  • Dance the tango in Argentina
  • Get published
  • Cross a glacier by foot
  • Climb an active volcano

  • Be an extra in a film
  • Teach English in a foreign country
  • Join a caravan in the Sahara
  • Learn a different language
  • Work in a winery in France

  • Work as a flight attendant
  • Be a member of the audience in a TV show
  • Run a marathon
  • Take up a new sport
  • Be a mentor to someone
  • Go paragliding
  • Make a difference in someone’s life
  • Fly in a hot air balloon
  • See the Northern Lights
  • Learn to knit

  • Live in the snow
  • Conquer my biggest fear
  • Go on a meditation retreat

  • Visit Angkor Wat in Cambodia
  • Start a social movement on a cause I believe in
  • Get closure on all my hurt, grievances and unhappiness of my past

  • Go to Fashion Design School
  • Help the world!
  • Be part of a miracle




This is the start to my bucket list. Some of these things I have done, but there are a lot that I still need to do. Travel is a big part of my passion and I can’t wait to check these off of my list.

I encourage all of you to create your own bucket lists, and experience life. We only have one chance!

Posted in Fun, Life, Uncategorized | 1 Comment